Learn Forward
Happy are they whose transgressions are forgiven,
and whose sin is put away!
Happy are they to whom the LORD imputes no guilt,
and in whose spirit there is no guile!
While I held my tongue, my bones withered away,
because of my groaning all day long.
For your hand was heavy upon me day and night;
my moisture was dried up as in the heat of summer.
Then I acknowledged my sin to you,
and did not conceal my guilt.
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD."
Then you forgave me the guilt of my sin.
Therefore all the faithful will make their prayers to you in time of trouble;
when the great waters overflow, they shall not reach them.
You are my hiding-place; you preserve me from trouble;
you surround me with shouts of deliverance.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you should go;
I will guide you with my eye.
Do not be like horse or mule, which have no understanding;
who must be fitted with bit and bridle,
or else they will not stay near you."
Great are the tribulations of the wicked;
but mercy embraces those who trust in the LORD.
Be glad, you righteous, and rejoice in the LORD;
shout for joy, all who are true of heart.
-Psalm 32
A Buddhist teacher long ago described life as being similar to water in a turbulent mountain stream dangerously tumbling among the boulders. One of my elderly Moms died in September; my other Mom is failing fast. Grief and loss surround me: within me, close to me, Ukraine, interpersonal squabbles, cultural and political polarization, the pandemic. When I look back, I find many times I would have felt, spoken or acted differently if I knew what I know now. In retrospect I marvel at how self-centered and defensive I was, how little I saw the big picture. Socrates wrote, "We learn forward and understand backwards". This Psalm reminds me that my transgressions will not only be forgiven, but my errors can be used - if I allow this - to make me willing to receive deliverance, faith and instruction, teaching and guidance. Being upright in heart includes humility and laying aside what I think I know about everything on a daily basis. Once I remember I don't know everything, then I can be a receptive listener, and know more deeply that mistakes and dead ends and wrong turns are part of life as we tumble down the boulders, not bad and to be avoided.
Let us pray…
Dear lord, give us the faith to be sure of things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see. Let us not grow faint or weary, no matter what we have to suffer. Help us keep love at the center of everything we do in the midst of the storm that engulfs us. Lead us to forgive ourselves and others, and to trust in your will. When we walk with others it's easier to walk, so please keep us in loving fellowship with those in our lives. Amen.